News

Springboro, Ohio-based cornholeportal.com reported a major slump in 3rd quarter sales of finished cornhole games sets. This comes as more bad news to the already shaky stock market awash in red this week, as investors seek to minimize fallout from the recent volatility of the Dow. "We have to conclude", says CEO/CFO John Edelmann, "that people are too concerned about having a house over their heads, to have time to entertain neighbors and family over a quiet game of CornHole."

"We feel that once the mortgage crisis bottoms out, there will be whole scale resurgence in party pastimes, including, of course, CornHole gaming equipment", Edelmann said. "Once people have a warm fuzzy feeling that they'll be able to keep their game sets out of the elements in their own garages and homes again, the market will certainly rebound."

Of course, the impact of the cornhole game slump isn't limited to cornholeportal.com. "We feel that the impact of burgeoning stock piles of farm corn used to make the bags used for the popular game will have dire consequences for farmers nationwide, as the price of feed corn falls as well," states Jerry Steiner, cornholeportal.com Board Chairman. "Smaller corn farmers will likely go out of business, unless they secure interested buyers for ethanol fuel producers." On the other hand, the result of decreased corn bag sales may, in fact, be a boon to the meat industry, as the over all price of feed corn for beef producers falls.

Following that strange statement, it was reported that CEO/CFO Edelmann noted with dismay that perhaps it would be better to sell homemade wine instead.

Given the fact that cornholeportal.com is a privately held company with a majority of its business operated from a garage, Chicago Board of Trade analysts are left scratching their collective heads, as to why there would be a relationship between the woes of cornholeportal.com, and the price of commodities such as feed corn. Analyst Larry Wholescumb said "We feel that the impact of corn hole gaming and the price of corn is really over blown. Certainly," he said, "the impact on the lumber industry should be far greater." Canadian plywood and other lumber materials are a main constituent in reputable cornhole game set manufacture.

cornholeportal.com is a typical fly by night ".com" producer of cornhole game sets, plans, and proprietor of sometimes useless information related to the sport of cornhole. Ran out of a garage, the concern has been a major player in the corn kernel-based entertainment activity since July 5, 2003, and boasts annual sales of nearly (but not quite) $1.5K. A widely known secret is that the concern also makes fine local wines, including grape, elder blossom, and mulberry.